Nicola Wills - Counselling & Psychotherapy

Everyone experiences ups and downs in their mood, but depression is characterised as a continued period of low mood that has a significant impact on your day to day life. It has the ability to change how you feel, think and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating or working. Even just getting out of bed in the morning can be an achievement.

There is no single cause of depression, it’s often a combination of factors, for example biological, a symptom of another illness or perhaps the environment or a persons lifestyle .

You may never know what causes your depressive episodes, but what’s important is making sense of them and being prepared to come out the other side. This is where counselling can help. It can be useful to explore in a supportive environment to make sense of the thoughts and feelings that may be lingering so they can be challenged and resolved, whilst giving you the support and tools to manage symptoms.

Anxiety is rooted in fear. It can be a useful emotion, propelling us into action to meet our goals or protect ourselves. It becomes a problem when its either disproportionate to the situation or the symptoms stop us from living our lives fully. We can get stuck in a feedback loop, where the thing we are anxious about is anxiety itself.

Anxiety is a completely normal reaction to perceived threats. Changing our relationship with anxiety is the first step to breaking the cycle using techniques to support us to move out of our threat response and into a space of safety, control and calm.

Strong emotions (for example jealousy or anger) can overwhelm us and make us feel like we’re not able to cope or that something is wrong with us. They can also have a profound impact on our relationships.

In therapy we make space for these emotions. Firstly, so we can understand what they’re trying to tell us, but also work on separating emotions from behaviours. This gives you choices when the emotion presents itself again, eventually learning to move past the overwhelm or stuckness.

Long term mental or physical health issues can be debilitating. Sometimes, we never know what causes them and we are left with pain, confusion, mixed emotions and an uncertain future.

It may feel like no one can understand, or wants to understand you situation. You might feel scared of what’s going to happen or anger at doctors or specialists that can’t solve the problem. Nearly everyone feels isolated in this experience and the impact on their loved ones is a second blow on top of the original condition.

Therapy can give you the space to process what you are going through. Although counsellors aren’t trained medical professionals and cannot offer advice, they can be with you at a time when it may be hard for others in your support network to be present. A counsellor is also trained to understand the depth or the emotions you are feeling, helping you keep a sense of yourself amongst the chaos.

We accept that loss is a part of life, yet when we are feeling the pain of grief this brings no comfort. When navigating a loss you may feel disconnected from yourself, others or life in general which can heighten feelings of isolation, anxiety, anger or fear that characterise grief.

It may feel like there’s a hole in your life that cannot be filled, but instead of filling the gap it is possible to grow around it and let your story be heard. It can be helpful as part of this process to explore your previous experiences of loss, as these will be present in your current loss too. This is what makes everyone experience grief uniquely.

Therapy can be important in this process. Firstly to keep you connected to yourself and others, but there is also powerful healing in sharing your story and have it witnessed by someone who is ready to meet you where you are with compassion.

We sometimes like to think we can do everything on our own but we all live in relationship, both with each other and objects or things around us. Relationships and connections with others are fundamental to our growth and safety.

You might be feeling unheard by a partner or family member, undermined by your boss or colleagues or maybe you just want to connect with others but don’t know where to start.

In a safe and supportive environment we can explore how we relate - by using the relationship of client/counsellor and by breaking down experiences with others so we can understand ourselves better. This helps us appreciate and value our own needs and what we bring to a relationship, making them generally more balanced and healthy.

Trauma is any frightening or distressing event that has had a lasting impact on you. It doesn’t have to be a one-off or specific event, nor is there a time-frame to experiencing trauma after an event .

Whatever the traumatic event, generally the feelings that surface now are the same feelings you experienced back then, and they feel stuck. You might feel frightened, threatened or trapped; ashamed, rejected or abandoned; powerless or humiliated. It may feel like you’re exerting considerable energy to hold it down.

When the time is right, telling your story at your own pace to someone who is fully available and with no judgement, will begin your journey to healing. It might feel overwhelming - like it will all come out at once and you won’t be able to control it - but a trained professional will be there to support you to express your story and make sense of what comes after.