How to Prepare For Therapy.
As a Therapist my clients experience is always important to me and I want to be able to support them at all times. It is also my experience that there are some things that clients who get the most from their sessions have in common, and I have tried to collate some of these here. Whether you’re new to Counselling or this is your 5th stint of therapy, these tips and suggestions are very easy to implement and will ensure you get the most from your sessions and your Therapist!
1. Make your sessions a priority.
When learning new skills and working towards change, we all know consistency is key. It will feel uncomfortable at first – the relationship between Practitioner and client is a unique one that you may not be used to at first – but sticking with the process is key and that can only happen when we’re present and engaged. There is also a natural rhythm to the relationship and results can be hindered if that is interrupted. Work with your Therapist to determine what is the best rhythm for you and once you have it, stick to it as much as possible to get the most from your sessions.
2. Review your expectations of what Therapy is and how it can help.
Therapy aims to provide a safe and non-judgemental space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings and to facilitate personal growth, development and awareness. Your Therapist will work to keep this space safe and focused on your needs, occasionally providing you with insights or reflections that can further enhance your exploration. Therapy is not there to tell you what to do in a situation or give you advice. A Therapist cannot solve your problems or '“fix” you.
The relationship built in Therapy is the single most important factor in client’s meeting their goals of therapy, and some of that connection will be down to the style of therapy the Practitioner is trained and works with. Doing some background reading on different types of therapy, how they approach issues and how they can help clients will help to manage expectations. You can read about some of the common types and how they can help on the BACP website here: https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/
It’s worth noting here that there are some other names for Therapists – Counsellors, psychotherapist, psychoanalyst - they all mean the same thing and aren’t reflective of the professionals knowledge, experience or effectiveness of the sessions. (The exception is the term psychiatrist, as this is reserved for individuals who are medically qualified doctors who have chosen to specialise in psychiatry). Therefore its important to do your research into what you need from Therapy and select a Therapist who you feel comfortable with. Counselling Directory have a great article on the differences between these terms here.
Any good Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Therapist or otherwise, will be able to explore this with you before you begin Counselling to ensure you get the most from the sessions.
3. Set clear and realistic goals with your Therapist.
The events leading up to you making your enquiry are an integral part of your journey, yet these often aren’t explored fully or seen as trivial. It’s important these are fully explored to understand what you want to achieve from the sessions. Once you know what you want to achieve, you can work on making this realistic and achievable – your Counsellor should work with you to turn “ I want to be happier in my relationship”, into something like “ I want to explore what makes me feel comfortable and uncomfortable in relationships and practice communicating them to others, so I feel more in control and safe.”
There might be a lot you want to unpack, so the goals might not be clear for the first few sessions, but when they do become clear its important to spend time honing in on what you want to achieve in that area before you dive deeper. In our first few sessions, I will always be listening out for what you want and need as we explore.
4. Be willing to take risks, try new things, and remain curious.
Change is a vulnerable space and learning any new skills feels unnatural at first. Our minds will likely want to revert to tried and tested methods of dealing with situations but, these may only get us by and come with unwanted or unhelpful consequences.
The biggest hurdle here is that the most change and growth is occurring when it feels most uncomfortable, they go hand in hand. I urge all clients to stick with this feeling and embrace it as much as possible. Its important that when we feel these ‘growing pains’ we feel safe to talk about them – it will reduce the impact they are having on you outside of sessions.
Curiosity and eagerness to try new things and be adaptable is possibly the most important thing a client can bring to Counselling that will lead to the best results.
5. Take responsibility for your own mental health.
It takes a lot for us to reach out to a professional to address mental health issues and it can sometimes feel frustrating and underwhelming when they don’t have the answers, especially when we are used to Doctors prescribing and giving advice to alleviate symptoms. Unfortunately, no amount of ice, elevation and bedrest is going to solve wellbeing and mental health concerns.
Your Counsellor is there to provide you a safe, supportive, and non-judgemental space to explore your thoughts and feelings. They will never give you advice because this would assume they know better than you. They might feel it’s appropriate to educate you on how the typical human body would respond to anxiety, for example, but what works for you in your situation will be different to every other person. Inside of a session, the Counsellor will work hard to deliver a supportive environment for growth and facilitate change and reflection, but for all the time on your journey you are the expert and are responsible for your wellbeing.
6. Practice, practice, practice.
Your sessions are likely to be weekly for 50 minutes – this leaves a whole 10,030 minutes (Thank you Google!) in the week for life to happen. In my experience, how the client views these experiences outside of the session is a key indicator for the outcome of Counselling – they could be viewed as a barrier to feeling better that needs to be overcome, but we will get the most out of our experiences if we see them as opportunities to try out new skills and practice what we have learned or try a different way of doing things. Different approaches will yield different results.
It’s important you feel safe whilst doing this however, and part of the supportive nature of Counselling sessions is that it provides space to work through that so you’re ready when the testing moments in life come.
7. Be honest about what’s working and what’s not working.
Everyone is individual and Counsellors are only human - even with the best intentions in the world, they will not get it right every time. This means that it’s important to hear your feedback and so you can work together in your best interests as a client. Trained professional Counsellors go through a stringent process to gain their qualification which involves lots of feedback, so no matter how uncomfortable it feels please never be afraid to speak up about what is and isn’t working for you.
By doing this, you are also experiencing what it feels like to tell another person what you need in your relationship with them and witnessing what happens when that person hears and understands your needs and collaborates with you to meet them. It’s a powerful feeling and can transform your relationship both in therapy and outside of it.
I’m available to talk about how i can support you in a free consultation.
More about how Counselling might be able to help with some key problems.
